A guide for families experiencing estrangement and severe disconnection.

Estrangement is Never Easy

Experiencing disconnect within your family is overwhelming and your central nervous system will become unbalanced. You are not alone in this experience. Your family is not the only family experiencing estrangement. You can find inner peace again as your family finds a new footing.

Remember this:

Family is a Journey.

In this guide, you will find important steps to take when your family is experiencing estranged relationships.

Don't Try to FIX the Problem Alone

This guide is to help you learn three important ways to help yourself survive. To help you begin to move forward into a calmer space. Acting on these suggestions can help you find your peace once again so you can have the strength you need to deal with your family trauma.

Three Key Actions to Take

When Your Family is Disconnected

Be Gentle with Yourself

1

Disconnection in relationships is difficult and triggering. Estrangement is difficult on steroids!

Realize that your nervous system reacts with fight, flight or freeze when it suspects danger. You simply can't connect in this state. Here is a way to help allow yourself to be calm and grounded. Practice some compassion, reflection, no judgement.

Breathe deeply.

This will allow you to show up as the person you want to be not the one you are tricked/triggered into being.

2

Find Support

Estrangement doesn't mean you are a bad person. Let me assure you, you're not the only one to go through the estrangement of a family member.

Please listen when I tell you: FIND SUPPORT - find a counselor, a friend, a therapist, a co-worker, a neighbor, a coach. Find Me!

Sharing with other people is crucial to getting through the pain and doing so in a healthy manner.

3

Make an Accessible List of Your Stress Reducers

Be really gentle and curious with yourself, your past and the present. Everyone has some rituals they do to help calm the nervous system. What are yours? Take time to write your calming techniques and make them visible in your world.

Suggestions:

Write words of comfort for you on post it notes and put them in a visible place

  • Make a "my calm" playlist for stressful moments

  • Have a favorite book ready to read.

  • Relax in a hot bath or shower

  • Use Ice on your neck to shift thoughts

  • Do a little art

  • Find a reason to laugh

  • Book a consultation with me and I'll help you

Develop compassion for yourself and don't let yourself get stuck in the rhetoric of failure. Both deep heartache and profound sadness are common in this process and especially in the beginning. Start reclaiming your footing by taking these steps towards healing.

Now take a step back. Work with me and begin your healing process so you can show up differently/healthier when the time presents itself.

Next steps as we work together.

  • We will submerse ourselves in your personal story including your estrangement story.

  • We explore your current relationship with your own grief and explore the emotions and processing this journey involves.

  • We explore your specific family situation and goals for coaching.

  • We create a plan of coaching steps based on our exploration of your situation and make it address your specific family needs.

  • Execute the coaching plan. Working together helps you feel better and more balanced. This work increases the chance of successfully rebuilding your family.

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